The 'settled' science

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

An Ironic Science Primer

Mr Columbus :

The science is settled, so that is all right,

sail to world’s edge and you will get quite a fright.

Fall over the end, for here there be dragons

and everything else that merry hell spasms.

Mr Harvey :

The science is settled, so that is all right.

Galen’s letting of blood will cure every blight;

as for anaemia, that is God’s chosen will,

so be a good boy now, and stick to the drill.

Mr Copernicus :

The science is settled, so that is all right,

God created earth, heavens, darkness and light,

with Earth at the centre of all that He made,

your Revolution’s wrong, be very afraid.

Mr Da Vinci :

The science is settled, so that is all right,

if God had wanted us to have bird-like flight.

Icarus would have succeeded, there’s no doubt,

so throw that ‘aerial screw’ and all your dreams, out.

All of Mankind :

The science is settled, so that is all right,

you know the globe’s warming, give up on the fight;

you’re made of carbon - that original sin -

no wonder the evil state we are all in !

--Alan McAlpine Douglas